Merry Christmas!!!

Spent my Christmas at my good friend's house yesterday. Had BBQ and steamboat over there. Drank some rice wine with my friend's relatives too. Boy... They can really drink lor... A few of my friends drank till they konk out... Heng I got some trainings before. Or else I will definitely end up like them lor. :P

I am really glad to have this group of friends. They have given me lots of support and have been through alot with me for the past few years. Without them, can't really imagine what will happen to me. I think it is fate that brought us altogether and I shall do whatever it takes to keep this bond strong.

Although I am unable to spend this christmas with the person I love so deeply, at least I have this group of friends to keep my company. I suppose life is like a balance; You win some, you lose some. I can never have the best of both worlds ba. But I really wish I have this power to do it. Even if it means to take 10 years of my life in exchange for that, I am most willing to do that. If only I could....

Looking back...

Looking back on the things I have done the past few years, I would say I have gained quite abit of experience in both my work and personal life... I suppose life is all about learning. After all, you will never stop learning till the day you finally cease to exist.

Yet, I am still not satisfied with the experiences I have gained till date. I know there are still lots of things for me to learn in my work. I want to be the best. I want to tell everyone that I belong to the cream of the crop. More importantly, I don't intend to let those pple, who have always believed in me, to ever be disappointed.

As for my personal life, I am gradually understanding what are the real facts of life. The good, the bad and the ugly. However, I believe what there are alot more things I have yet to encounter or experienced.

I want to live a life with no regret. I want my life full of peaks and troughs. I want and I know I will be better than I was yesterday. I know my life is not just this and there must be something more to it. Just because of all these, I will not succumb to any failures or obstacles that lie ahead of me. For, I know I am destined to succeed...

What is love???

This title may seemed alittle cliche... But I really wonder if there is anyone who can provide the best answer to it... Others may describe it as a form of affection to another individual while the scientists may just explain it as a chain of chemical reactions that takes place in your body. Whatever the answer may be, the fact is, it is indispensable to every single one of us out there. So much so that it seems like a shadow; following us wherever we go.

All I know is, this unique feeling aka LOVE has brought me both fond and sad memories. In the past, I have always thought Love only brings happiness. However, I came to realise that it is only naive for me to think that way. Love has always come in a package whether you like it or not. And the only way to sustain Love is to compromise. It may sound easy but its not. It needs patience and selfless thoughts.

Is it too late for me to realise this? I can't answer this question. Only "she" can answer it. I don't know whether "you" have ever read my blog. I just want "you" to know that my love for you has never stopped. I am still waiting... Waiting for you... Right here... Now and forever...

Lost my handphone le... Sianz...

Went to clubbing with my good friends yesterday. Chiong till HP lost... I think I was a little drunk. Drank like 7 jugs of vodka mixtyres and 2 glasses of Johnnie walker black label... Only realised that I lost my Hp when I was about to reach home.

Actually I was not sad over the loss. I am more worried that the guy who took my Hp will call up my friends. Hope he is not so immoral...

Happy hour??? Happy meh???

Just went to my unit's Happy Hour today.... Besides boozing, there's quite a good spread of food for all to enjoy.

Happy hour is supposed to be a good time to mingle with your superiors as well as fellow colleagues. However, for me, I don't find happy hour particularly enjoying. Perhaps it is because I hold an appointment in the Committee and hence, have to help out in the preparation prior to the whenever there is a event going on. Which is why I always tell my friends " Today happy hour leh! Very happy meh? Yeah right...." :(


Nevertheless, I feel that whether a happy hour is really happy to each individual, is relative. Others might find it enjoying. But for anit-socials such as me, sorry... As much as I would love to enjoy myself and be happy, just don't really find it happy to start with.

Managing stress

Working life has never been easy for me... There are 1001 tasks for me to do and yet pple don't understand why I seemed so busy. Well I suppose it doesn't matter what they think... As long as I am true to myself, knowing I am doing something productive and more importantly, my boss acknowledge it, I guess this is all that matters. The rest is secondary.

Think I should not complain so much cos nowadays every single one of us who are working out there, are expected to multi-task. Gone were the days where you were only given a particular work scope to perform. Now you are expected to work like Window XP professional.... Wah biangz... my biological CPU and RAM where got so high?????


However, I am proud to say that the other side of me welcomes such challenges. To me, there is no satisfaction as great as completing all tasks "arrowed" to you earlier on. Though your competence and efficiency will get its well-deserved recognition, it only means the arrows directed to you gets geometrically more and more and more and more lor! :P

Nevertheless, my personal problems did worsened the whole situation to a whole new level... Not only I have my work to be constantly worried abt, I have my relationship problem to think of... Sometimes I just hope I will lose my memory. Then again, I want to tell myself that I am strong, I will not fall so easily. I just have to believe that things will eventually turn for the better as time progresses...

Lonliness at its worse

Used to think that I do not need anyone by my side to accompany me.. Thought I was those cool loner who is able to live with oneself for the rest of his life...

I was wrong, so wrong that I realised I am just as normal as any Tom, Dick or Harry you find in the streets... I need someone. Someone who can share my happiness and sadness together. Someone who can light up my life in my darkest moment. Someone I know I would love to meet during my free time. Someone who can stand my idiotic crappy jokes, .. etc More importantly, someone I truly love and care about...

The scariest thing about lonliness is that the feeling gets incrementally intense as age catches up with you... This is escpecially so when say you are walking down the streets, you see couples displaying affections to their partners, and there you are, walking along the streets alone... I tell you, the feeling sucks like hell...

However, I have to say that finding a partner is not just about defeating lonliness... It is about love. You don't love for the sake of loving. You love because you really truly love... To sum it up, I hope those guys out there who have already found your true love; Don't let it go so easily... It is not easy to find someone you really love. It is even more so to find a mutual love...

As for me, I will just have to follow 'your' advise... I will wait patiently, positively and to keep an open mind... Though I know deep down in my heart, I know I will wait...

Intro abt me, myself and Kaiwen...

Hi! This is Kaiwen... I am 25 this year. A civil servant. Just an average guy that you will see in the streets.

After being subjected to severe stress and pressure from my work, I realised that it is time to find some form of outlet to vent my unhappiness...

Besides work comes relationship, I am a failure in relationship. A complete failure... I don't know how the opposite sex thinks. So much so that I am beginning to wonder whether girls are really from venus and us from Mars... Then again, being pretty well-versed in Astronomy, I know the answer very well.. How can they be from Venus leh???? Venus so much poisonous gas... :P Just maybe they are from another galaxy.... Aiyah... Whatever it is, I think girls are complex living organism... So complex that even the most sophiscated computer can't calculate what they are thinking... Perhaps it is not the girls' fault... It is my fault... I am dyfunctional... I am a obselete model waiting to be condemned... Don't even know whether the scrap yeard wants me or not???

I think I need a break... I need to build my confidence in woman again... I need time to reflect on myself too... Besides, I am waiting for someone... I hope she knows I am waiting for her... Whatever it is, I will just let nature takes its course... Hoping that someone up there id doing some form of planning for me...