Chinese New Year!!!!

Today, I went out with my parents to Chinatown to buy stuff for this coming Chinese New Year. As usual, the whole place is packed with people. So much so I think if each and everyone of these people were to spit their saliva on me, I think I would have drowned there! hehe... I know... Gross lor... :P This is also the very reason why I used to hate going there during Chinese New Year. However, as I grow older, this feeling seems to have diminished. In fact I enjoy going there now. And why is that so? This is because I think I will get to feel this Chinese New Year atmosphere only when I go there. Otherwise, it will only seem to be another holiday to me, that's all. Nothing more. Of course, Ang Bao is another aspect that makes Chinese New Year so special. But to me, it is not so significant cos I don't really collect as much Ang Bao nowadays. :P

Nevertheless, with the arrival of this new year, I hope it will be a good start for me. I don't ask for much. I just need better luck that's all. Hope that whoever up there right now who may be reading my blog (I hope the people upstar is also quite advance... :P) is able to grant me this small little wish... Of course, I also wish likewise to my family and all my friends out there. :).

Time flies...

At a blink of an eye, 14 years has passed.... The girl I was so infatuated with during then, had already been married for almost a year and has recently given birth to a cute daughter. Her daughter will be a month old in the coming Sunday.

Looking at the ever loving couple and the happiness they shared with their newborn, I can't help but feel happy for her. I used to ponder why she did not choose to be with me then. Now I finally know why. It is because there is someone out there who is better and deserves her much more than I do. I really wonder whether she will be as happy if she so ended up with me. Then again, perhaps not...

Nevertheless, taking this couple as live example, it has once again shown that there is true love existing in this realistic world. Whether we are able to meet our true destiny, it is up to fate to see what it has in store for us...

Getting used ...

Earth continues to revolve around the Sun regardless of anything. Whether we like it or not, it doesn't care. It has only one main purpose; to complete its full revolution around the Sun within 365.25 days and continue to do so until the very day Sun dies...

As each day turns to week and weeks to month, my feelings have grown numb. So much so that I sometimes really wonder whether I have any feeling left. As much as I would love to be in love and to care for someone, it seems that this vision, this very need, is gradually distancing itself away from me. With hectic work keeping myself busy, my life has become monotonus...

Perhaps I am slowly evolving. Evolving to become a planet like Earth. With only one duty in mind, and that is to continue to live my life till the day I cease to exist...

Ignorance, a bliss?

As one gradually matures, besides experiencing physical changes, another aspect that one usually faces is psychological change. Unlike when you are young where you have much lesser issues to worry about. As you grow older, you will think more. Problems relating to career, family, relationship and financial becomes part and parcel of your life....

Have I grown accustomed to all these? I'm afraid not... How I wish I can just live my life as a child again, forgetting everything else.... Pure ignorance... How bad can that be? Nothing can be as perfect as not knowing anything at all isn't it?

Looking back, I ask myself once again. Is it possible to feign ignorance??? The answer is a definite No No... I have to be strong because I know my family needs me. I can fail everything but I can't fail myself. Nor can I fail my parents and those who have always believed in me...

As much as I want to forget you... I just can't.... Perhaps I never will.... Maybe time will bury you deep in my heart, staying with me forever....

Is it over?

Finally, my busy days are coming to an end soon. At least for the time being... Guess I need to take a break after all these are over...

Lost my voice last week due to a bad sore throat. Think all my colleagues and subordinates are used to me losing voice liao... hehe... Besides my sore throat, I am still having some cough.. Not as bad as the one I had over a year ago.... Heng ah.... :P

Sometimes wonder what I really want in life... What is it in life that is worthy for me to fight for? Who are the ones whom are truly important to me? Where do I want to go? Seems like I am getting disillusioned... Whatever it is, I just have to move on. For I know, only by moving forward, I will be able to see clearly what is lying ahead of me.... Of course, I need some torch lights too... hehe... opps... See lots of crows flying ahead of me :P

So tired...

I am going through a super ultra rough patch recently. Have so much work to do, yet so little time to complete them. Almost had to work OT everyday till 8-9pm in the evening. So much so that I even came back on Sat to do some work! But I guess it is a good thing. At least it makes me forget about other things... I hope the hard work I have put in my work so far, will show me some positive results.

Sometimes I believe God is fair in a way. Since I am not doing well in my love affairs, at least I must do well in my work lor... hmmm... Must go down Si Ma Lu this week to pray pray... hehe :P Guess what? I used to think that I am superman but I was wrong... I realised I'm also fragile and vulnerable like all others. The hard work I have put in my work has taken its toll on me. My body seems to have reached its threshold. Seems like I am falling sick again... haizz... This is definitely not the most appropriate time for me to get sick... Regardless, I have been pushing myself to work despite my condition.

Like what others say, if it doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger. I know I can do it and I will, do it. :)

Trapped in a world of my own...

I am living in a world full of constraints. As much as I would love to do things that I really enjoy doing, somehow, I can never seemed to do so. Perhaps it is because I care too much about others...

I yearned to be with my loved one; taking care of her and loving her... Unfortunatley, God seems to enjoy making fun of me. Always finding the right opportunity to deprive me of love. The most unfortunate of all, I am dysfunctional when it comes to love. I don't know how to love someone. I don't know how to approach someone in the most appropriate way. I don't even know how to make her happy and be contented for being her as well as my only loved and cherished one. Perhaps, I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life...

Despite all these, I am determined to overcome them. I want to believe in myself. I want to prove to God that he may be omnipotent, but I am in control of my own life. I believe one day, i will no longer be trapped in this lonely world of mine. I am not sure how am I going to do this, but I will make it happen!!!